Africa

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."- James 1:27

Where do I even begin? I'm about to attempt to summarize to you 22 new, amazing friendships, numerous life lessons, and one of the most wonderful trips I've ever taken in my life. Brace yourselves for a long-en. If you're not prepared to spend a little time reading you might want to revisit this post at a later date.

Let's be honest right now, I had some skepticism about just how much I would LOVE this trip. I mean I was sure it would be enjoyable, I was sure I'd meet a few people that were nice, I was sure I would like getting to see the kids, I was sure I'd learn something new. God blew my feeble expectations out of the water. Even just a few days before going I was regretting picking the trip I did. How's that for a loaded confession? I was kicking myself for not picking a trip that I

already knew people on. I was upset that I picked Africa instead of China. I was bummed my parents had to pay some of my support. When picking a trip I signed up for South Africa BEAM pretty spontaneously and because it was the only one I could find that was explicitly orphan ministry. I'm not really the one to spend weeks mulling things over in prayer, if I know that they aren't out of God's moral will then I just do them, or let him shut the doors if it isn't supposed to happen. I was beginning to doubt that method of thinking simply because I was nervous about being stretched and out of my comfort zone for 2 weeks. So now that you know where I was at before the trip, lets get to the actual trip, shall we?

I wasn't the only person out of my comfort zone on day one. I was in a training room with 18 other students and 5 leaders, most of whom didn't know anyone before going on the trip. I stayed in a hotel room with 3 other girls and all of us were a bit nervous and awkward (which is really funny to think about now). I mean, we knew nothing about each other. Get-to-know-yous are hard! They take a lot of effort. Once again I was kicking myself for not going with someone that I knew. I was so far out of my comfort zone that it frustrated me. Let me say this now, Christians are meant to live their lives outside their comfort zones. That was the very first lesson I learned on the trip. I needed to be stripped of all my reliance on other things and other people and just fully trusting God. If I had stayed where I was comfortable our had had someone else to rely on I would not have grown like I did.

On the way there our group was delayed in Atlanta for 6 hours! SIX. HOURS. Sounds dreadful, right? Well, it wasn't. It was a completely unexpected annoyance that turned into a total God-thing. I was a little sad before leaving, which led me to sharing my life story with one of our leaders, an incredible girl named Kayla. Oh how I love her now. But I wouldn't have gotten to get to know her as well if we hadn't had that time. She wouldn't have heard my life story, I wouldn't have heard hers, which means we wouldn't have had the great conversations we did throughout the trip. As a team we also just got to relax and play Signs and Mafia together. Everyone was tired and silly and having a good time. Without those 6 hours I don't think we would have meshed quite like we did. God knew we needed that time. Which leads to lesson number two. God's plan is better. Always. Plan, schedule, do whatever you like, but God is going to have the final say and his plan is always best.

Don't worry. I will now begin my general summary of the trip, I won't go day-by-day. But I really just wanted you to know and understand that God taught me so much right off the bat.

MY TEAM

My team was a collection of a very wide variety of people. There were people from Hawaii, Maryland, California, Illinois, Nebraska, Colorado, Texas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Wisconsin, and Missouri. Talk about variety. Our life stories were even more diverse. It's just incredible hearing how God saves people that are so very different and he does it in a unique way for each person. We have a creative, loving God. I'm thoroughly convinced that God hand-picked the team that we had and he blessed it. Don't ask me why he let me be a part of it, but I'm so thankful he did. There were no cliques, there were no fights (actually, Andy and Jenna couldn't decide one night whether or not we should get tomatoes. Whew. Rough one *cough* sarcasm *cough*), there was no drama, there was only a lot of love for one another. Again, with how diverse we were there is only one good explanation for this. God. He did it all. I was so blessed by each other members he brought into my life. I honestly feel like I've known these people for so long. I'd be perfectly comfortable calling up any of the girls and just chatting about life. I constantly thought of

Philippians 2:1-3 during the trip. We did have one spirit and purpose, we were all there to show some people the incredible love of Christ that we had been shown.

SOUTH AFRICA

South Africa is corrupt place as far as government goes. Early in it's history, there was an apartheid, in which all of the Africans were only allowed to live in slum areas, the "townships", while the Afrikaans were allowed to live in the nice parts of town. Because of this you can literally drive 5 minutes from shacks in shambles to mansions. While the apartheid is "no more" the Africans can't make it out of the slums easily at all. Jobs and good education are hard to come by

and sometimes they get jobs from Afrikaans and then don't get paid. Sometimes just the mentality of the people is selfish. Drugs, alcoholism, and abuse are all prevalent in the townships. I have never seen anything like the poverty there. Ever. Everyone in South Africa has barbwire protecting their house and all the stores and malls shut down as soon as it gets dark outside. Crime runs rampant, especially just petty theft. And this is the culture that the children we met are being brought up in. Some had been abused, some were orphans, and those that weren't had very broken home lives, some were completely homeless, and all lived in poverty.

BEAM

BEAM is a ministry that was started by a couple named Erika and Louie in the township of Nelmopolus. God gave both of them a dream and a vision for st

arting a ministry to help the kids of the area get food, clothing, and an education. I have never met two more faithful people in my entire life. They got BEAM up and running in 2005, I believe, and God has just blessed it in really awesome ways. They have somewhere around 100 children that they have been impacting the lives of, not to mention the countless high school kids and families that are in-turn impacted. If you're looking for a ministry to support I highly recommend this one. Even if you're not looking I think you should support them. God is working in their ministry and it is worth being a part of. Here's a link to their facebook page. Check it out, get info, and get involved. We as Americans are blessed to be a b

lessing. Buy one less Starbucks drink a week and change some lives. http://www.facebook.com/pages/BEAM-Africa-Network/163884096995137?ref=ts&sk=wall

THE KIDS

Oh. My. Goodness. The kids were so fantastic and so beautiful it blew my mind. I wanted to come home with all of them. I played with 4 kids mostly. Lethabo, who was 12, Mpho, 7, Karabo, 5, and Cabello, 2. Karabo and Cabello were brother and sis

ter and spoke very little English but they were so much fun and so precious. Lethabo and Mpho both spoke some English and I loved getting to play with them. At the end of the second week Lethabo accepted Christ!!!!!!!! It was wonderful. I just cannot describe the joy I got from being around these kids. They had so much joy on their own that it was contagious. I also cannot describe to you the hurt I felt each day saying goodbye and not knowing where they were going to sleep or what they were going home to. At nights it was very cold and these kids didn't have sweatshirts and sweatpants or warm blankets like we did. Here's an idea of how cold it was. I would wear 2 pairs of socks, long johns with 2 pairs of sweatpants on over, a longsleeve shirt, a t-shirt, and 2 thin sweatshirts over that. Then I'd grab my blanket and go sit out by the fire with the rest of the team. The kids had none of that. Not eve

n a firm structure over their head to keep the wind

out. And yet, they loved and accepted love so beautifully. It's something I will never ever forget.

LIFE LESSONS

I struggled a lot on this trip with one main thing: Is God good? I saw hurt and brokenness on a whole new level this trip. We spent one day walking around the townships and praying for the families there and talking to people. God's goodness isn't something I've ever found myself wavering in. In my mind, without even realizing it, I saw God's goodness in the fact that he had provided so much in my life. I used material things to measure the amount of goodness I thought God had. But then I was placed in a world where

there was nothing. Just a lot of hurt and emptiness. So the feeble foundation that I had built God's goodness on was completely kicked out from under me. I neglect to remember so often that this life is temporary. The good, the bad, all of it will, fade and make room for the perfect. During worship at night we'd sing "There will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes, still I will praise you." and I'd remind myself constantly that this was not the end. These children won't always be abused, instead they will be held in hands that only want to show them love. One day the orphans will have a father. One day the families of those broken down shacks will be walking the streets of gold. I also forget that God hurts desperately for those people too. He isn't turning a blind eye to their hurt. He hurts with them and for them, he just has a perfect plan in it that we can't see. His goodness isn't determined by fading gifts, but his everlasting gift of Jesus. The fact that we are offered eternal life at all

tells us that God is good and loving. But it took me a few days to remember that. I very seriously wrestled with it while looking around. Satan showed me all the things that would lead me to question it, and while I knew truth was that God is perfect I had to take steps of faith trusting that fact. It wasn't an easy lesson to learn, honestly it was kind of humbling and breaking because God being good seems so fundamental. God just needed me to build my foundation a lot stronger than what it was. Let me just tell you. God. Is. Good. Fact.

I've been working on this post for hours now. It's so hard to try to summarize everything. But a picture says a thousand words and so I hope that with my written words I just provided and the pictures I'm about to provide you will be able to taste a good portion of what I experience in Africa. God is doing incredible work and he is a God of the nations. I'm so thankful for everyone who supported me and gave me a way to even go in th

e first place. The prayers and money were so helpful, and I hope this post helps you see the fruits of your labors. I love you all.

Karabo and Cabello

The BEAM Africa House

My wonderful small group

Lethabo

Mpho

The townships. Houses like this stretched on for miles

Procastination.

Fail. It's been 3 weeks since my last blog post and I was hoping to try for one a week. I suppose inspiration doesn' t just appear out of thin air. To be perfectly honest I was hoping I could post the words "I RAISED EVERY LAST CENT OF MY SUPPORT!" the next time I blogged, but unfortunately that is not the case. But please don't let my slight disappointment undermine my excitement for what God did these past few weeks! As of May 31st I had a message in my inbox letting me know that I had $1,500 left to raise for my trip. All my support was supposed to be sent in by today, June 10th. Scary, much? Ya. Ten days and $1,500 to raise. So I prayed. Hard. Don't let that make it seem like I had any hand in what happened next, but I was definitely more aware of what God was doing. I checked the mailbox every day, and every day I was met with disappointment. See, I was looking and hoping that one day I'd just open it and BOOM letters would come pouring out, I'd have a cry fest, and it'd be wonderful. God has a funny way of doing things you expect in a way you don't expect. I didn't get letters, but I got an e-mail, a text message, and several in-person gifts that rocked my world a little bit. See at the beginning of my support raising, I had about $1,100 in the first 4 weeks. I thought that was incredible. Well God provided that much in a span of 3 days. There is really no better way to describe it than a God-thing. So as of today my parents are writing a check for $400 versus $1,500. And 3 days was all it took to make up that difference. If that isn't incredible I'm not really sure what is.

Now, I learned some things over the last few days (I find that God is never really done teaching me, even if it is lessons I think I've learned before). First off, I struggled with how to pray over all of this. Was I trying to manipulate God with my prayer? Did I need to pray in exactly the right way in order for God to do exactly what I wanted? It's that whole "If God is sovereign why should I pray?" struggle. Well last year my bible study did a study on prayer and we went through a book that addressed a lot of these issues (It's called Live a Praying Life, I highly recommend it, either as a personal study, or for a bible study). I cracked it open and I was immediately convicted about my attitude in my prayer life. See, I've viewed the money for my trip to Africa as a right. In my mind I was just like, "Come on God, what are you waiting for? Just give me the money already, I already know you will, why wait?". I thought that it was all as good as mine, but that's that problem. It was never mine. It never will be mine. Every good and perfect gift comes from God. Well the very first page asked some "Why do we pray?" questions. I found myself lining up with the manipulation stance more than anything. I thought I just hadn't "released" God's blessing yet. I thought I hadn't said the magic word in the magic way yet in order to get what was mine. Ouch. Kind of a humbling realization. Not really my favorite to put into words for everyone to read. But it's true, that was my attitude. So through all of this God has been working on refining my heart and mind and my prayer life. I realize that I don't know a perfect prayer, and I never will, because the perfect prayer doesn't exist. Honest, heartfelt, confession and supplication is what God asks of us. And then thankful spirits when he answers our prayer in ways we couldn't possibly imagine.

So that is a very brief update on some life lessons that I've been learning. Would you like a little fun update? Yes? Okay swell. Yesterday I got my last two shots for Africa! Whoo! For those of you who keep up with some of my Facebook postings you may know that I passed out on my last shot and because of that they didn't give me my other two. So I've been putting this off for about a month now. Whoops. The whole looming "You could pass out again" thought kind of help with my procrastination. But Grant, my boyfriend, came in this week to visit me and he was not about to let me keep putting it off since you need 2 weeks for the vaccinations to really kick in and start working. So I got bribed into getting them done yesterday. I feel like a little kid, but I admit I went in because Grant promised me he'd buy me two scoops of cappuccino chocolate chunk ice cream from Braums (SO GOOD) if I went and didn't pass out or cry. Success and success. I would like you all to know I got to enjoy some delicious ice cream afterwards. I maybe admitted the bribery to my doctor, so she helped me out a bit and gave me an ice pack to help keep me from passing out. There were no rules against getting a little help. Yesterday was a good day.

So last thing, before I leave you all, I am working on my list of thankful things and it is coming along quite nicely. Basically every day I write down 6 things I'm thankful for. They can be really small and silly, and most of the time they are. Over the summer I can never repeat anything so at the end I will have 450 thankful things. Each day there has to be a specific reason for why I am thankful for that thing or person. For instance, one day I was thankful for ceiling fans, canoes, Psalm 25, Thunder (our dog), Chacos, and chai tea. Pretty random list, huh? Well the AC in our guest house had quit working and so we had every fan in the house running. Without them it would have been complete misery. Also, Roxy, Haley, Hope, and I took our neighbors' canoe out and it was very fun and relaxing, and without a canoe we wouldn't have gotten to have quite as fun of an afternoon. Psalm 25 because it is the first Psalm I read when I became a Christian and I had read it again that morning and it was just as meaningful and powerful. It will always be one of my favorite passages of scripture. Thunder because I sit outside at night when I talk to Grant on the phone, and Thunder sits out there with me and makes me feel safer. Chacos because they are just super convenient and comfortable and great for canoeing. Chai tea because, I mean, come on. Its SO GOOD (just like cappuccino chocolate chunk ice cream.) So there is the main idea of my summer thankful list, and it is crazy how many awesome little things God does in our life every single day. One third of the way through my summer (Seriously. It's ridiculous) and I don't think that it will be very difficult to come up with new things all the time, seeing as God's mercies are new every morning.

From here on out I'll be keeping you posted on thankful things, more painful life lessons, and AFRICA (SOOO SOON!!!!!!)

Over and out homies.

The Sequel

Well world. I'm back.

I'm returning to the blog spot this summer by putting aside Facebook for June and July and attempting to become a blogger once more. Whew. We'll see how well this goes.

Lets have some updates, shall we? I'm living in Dallas for the majority of this summer again, but for those of you who followed last year, it will be vastly different from before. I'll be making several trips, one to Arkansas, one to Tennessee, and last and certainly NOT least, AFRICA. I'm pretty pumped, don't know if you could tell. Also, again, for those of you who don't know, my family has moved from our old Plano house to a house out in C

elina. Form those who might be unfamiliar with the Dallas metro-plex, these two city names probably don't mean much to you. Basically we moved from a city into the country. Its a whole new world out here. Hope, my sister, Roxy, our friend from college, and I are sharing our guest house and it is super wonderful thus far. All three of us are RA's and so we have never gotten the chance to just live in a house with a few close friends, so this summer may just spoil us a bit. So, unlike last summer, I will not spend more than 3 weeks in any one place, and I will be constantly surrounded by people. Two changes I welcome with open arms.

Roxy being an honorary Petersen for the summer

Enough of the small-talk catching up mumbo jumbo. Time to get down to business. Why exactly, you might ask, am I getting off of Facebook in order to blog? Won't I waste just as much time? Well, hopefully not, but even if I do there is a bigger reason for why I'm doing it. Like I mentioned before I will be taking a trip to Africa for several weeks this summer. A trip like this costs money, and a decent-sized chunk of it, for that matter. Because of this I'm going to be raising support to go on the team. I have more reasons than just "I don't want to pay for this, I'll make someone else do it" for why I want to raise support, trust me, having me and my parents pay for it would be a lot easier and require a lot less trust. Which happens to be the number 1 reason why I'm raising support, because sitting right at halfway of my money being raised with less than a month to get it all in causes me to fall on my knees a lot more often than if I knew where the was going to come from. Right now I've got to rely on blind faith. I don't know where it will come from but I do know that God can provide, he will provide, and even if he doesn't he is still God.

Another reason I want to raise support is because I believe it is an extremely biblical concept. Jesus had rich women who supported him as he traveled and taught in cities (Luke 8:1-3). Acts talks about how the early church sold everything so that they may share and have stuff in common. When Peter and Barnabas and Paul would take their missionary journeys the church would support them through prayer and supplies. You see this example of giving and support raising constantly in the bible, and so it is clear to me that it is something we should still practice today.

Finally, I want to give people the opportunity to be a part of my ministry. I know there are many of you who just don't have the opportunity to take off several weeks of your school, job, life, ect. to hop on a plane and go to Africa. BUT each of you do have $10 to send with me and in turn, you have to chance to have a hand in missions. Paul, Peter, and Barnabas never would have been able to take any of their journeys without the support of the church. So really the church had just as active of a role in changing the world as those men did. That's what I'm asking people to do; to have an active role in missions with me.

Now, which brings me to my final point about blogging. Everywhere you send your money is an investment, and so for someone to send money to me would be for them to be investing in me. I want people to be able to see, from week to week, what kind of ministry they are supporting. For those of y'all who I haven't seen since high school, for all you know I could have gone of the deep end in college. How would you know that sending money to me to go to Africa would be a good way to invest? You don't. So I want to show you my life is like outside of the two-week trip I'm going to take. Since it is my hope that I will be taking many more trips like this I want you to trust later on as well that my ministry is still worth being invested in.

So this summer I'll be using this blog to show you my trip to Africa and tell tales about it and I'll be using it to just tell you about my daily life and the things God has been teaching me. Unlike last year, I do not have an extensive laundry list of things to complete, simply this: read 4 books, memorize a verse a week about thanksgiving/praise, and write down daily 6 the things that I'm thankful for. They will mostly be small things, as I'm working on my heart rejoicing in everything.

Well. This has been an extensive post, and probably not the most organized one I've ever written, seen how I wrote it over the course of almost a week! This blogging stuff is hard work. But before I go I'd like to ask for one major thing, please be praying, hard, for the support to come in and for the safety and productiveness of our trip. Though money is tangible, prayer is the real backbone of missions and their effectiveness. So please all, be praying hard for the work that God is going to do. I love all of you!!!

-Kelly

"But I have trusted in your steadfast love, my heart shall rejoice in your salvation." -Psalm 13:5

And they lived happily ever after.

I'm not who the they is in my title, but since I started this blog with a "Once upon a time..." it seemed like the appropriate ending.



It's midnight. I'm sitting on my bed waiting for my laundry to be finished so that I can sleep. My belongings are packed away in boxes and I'm on the verge of another new year. Honestly I cannot believe it. It feels like this summer has just blown by. I mean when I take a look at everything that has happened (like my brother's wedding at the beginning of the summer) it feels like it has been forever. The prospect of going back to school tomorrow is just crazy to me, though. So soon? Not that I mind in the least bit, I'm stoked for sure. It's just weird, that's all. If summer classes and work and the more boring and less glamorous stuff of this summer flew by at such a rapid pace, then how much faster will school fly by? I mean I don't need to think about it, especially not like that, I've got to take every day one step at a time, but do you ever want to slow it down a bit? As great and wonderful as this summer has been, I'm glad it is over, I just don't want my school year to fly by that rapidly.



Ah the concluding blog post of the summer. What to say? I guess I should take a look at my goals....

1.Well. I made an A in Communications and not in Biology. So partial success. But only partial.

2. I had a room of the house to clean every day for the first 2 weeks, but after school and work started, that fell through and never came back up. So incomplete.

3. I played piano once. This entire summer. Needless to say I didn't learn any songs in that time frame.

4. I did Rosetta Stone for 2 weeks as well, again until school started. I made it through 4 lessons. That's it.

5. I finished 5 of the Harry Potter books and part of the 6th. But I still have some work to do.

6. I only memorized through verse 9 of Psalm 103.

7. I did nanny. Though not always without complaining or grumbling, but this part was the most fun.

8. I made bathroom signs for my floor. That's kinda like prepping for door decks, right? Ah no. You're right. Not really.

9. 3 chapters of Screwtape. Not exactly the whole book.

10. And I probably cooked a grand total of 3 times this summer. But never with Haley like we had planned.

When I look at the summer and its measure of success in these standards I'm pretty aware of the fact that I failed to fully complete any one of these things. It could be said that it was a really unsuccessful summer all in all. It's pretty easy to look at it like this. But through talking to a friend I've realized that my measure of success for the summer is being measured by the wrong standard. All these things are good, and would have been nice to finish them (I mean really, atleast one would have been nice.) but just because I didn't complete these things doesn't mean my summer was a waste. This summer has been pretty difficult for a lot of reasons. It has been a constant struggle to live my life in surrender and just an overall heartbreaking, growing, learning process. I'm becoming more aware of how very far from goodness I am, and how great that makes grace. I'm recognizing my constant striving to perfect my life and myself, rather than letting the author and perfecter of my faith take care of me and teach me. Part of me still feels very unprepared. This next year will bring its own struggles and victories, and will be filled with opportunities to do ministry all over the place. I know God has been prepping me in ways I can't even see yet, and I need to recognize that as a victory for this summer. It may not have been the glamorous, exciting summer I had been looking for, but I was placed where I needed to be when I needed to be there. That is just God's sovereignty. I've been beginning to redefine my standard of success in everything, not just the summer. What would be a success this school year? Getting A's (yes Mama, Daddy, I will try to do this!)? Making money? Becoming more cultured? Working out a certain amount? (Ha, good one, I know) I'm having to reevaluate what is best, and though these things are good and deserve a portion of my time, none of them are worth having goals over or striving for. They should just be fun bonuses in life. Not all of my life. It's like my buddy was telling me, though it was probably one of the hardest summers ever, it was a success. I could go all school year without any of those things and it could still be successful, but if I went an entire school year without seeking God, hurting some, struggling, working to grow while living in grace, well then it would be a complete and utter failure. My value, worth, and success is found ONLY in him.

I can honestly say that 2 months ago I cried at the prospect of having 2 more months of summer left being stuck in Dallas while everyone else was going off and doing exciting things with their lives. If only I had been able to see all the little ways God was working, I don't think I would have spent near as much time in tears. It makes it that much easier to trust him. At points it's still difficult but I keep reminding myself, he really does have my very very best in mind. Better than I could ever imagine. It's a pretty good reminder of how great he is. Just another instance of his faithfulness that I can add to my constantly growing list.

Well it is now 1am. I'm pretty pooped, not going to lie. And we've got a trek tomorrow! All the way to ARKANSAS!!!!! Whoooo :) Thank you all for being faithful readers, goodness knows why. I love you very much!

1 Peter 4:1-2
-Kelly

Did Juneau?

Right now I'm sitting in a beautiful cabin in the middle of the woods in Alaska. The house is dark and everyone is asleep, except for myself. That's probably because I've been doing my very best to avoid going to bed or waking up TOO much off what I would do in Texas. So here I am. Awake and writing because it is still too dark to do anything that doesn't involve computer light. Shall I begin to tell of the adventures galore? Well since I can't hear any protests through my computer screen I'll go ahead and start.

We left Monday evening around 4 to get to the airport. Our flight was scheduled to be at 10:30pm and we were going early in the hopes to go standby for the the 7:30 out of Dallas instead. Did you know they now charge $50 to go standby? Yup. Ridiculous. I mean it kinda makes sense because it keeps the list from being so long and such a hassle, but it kept us from being able to fly out 3 hours earlier so I will continue to be disgruntled with the new rule. Anyway, so we flew out at 10:30pm to Vegas, where we stayed the night at the local Embassy Suites. We had a 7am flight the next morning so it was a rather short night to be sure. Tuesday morning came a little faster than I would have liked. At 7am we took off from Vegas, flew to Seattle, and then from Seattle we went to Juneau.

Okay well I could go through the rest play-by-play style, but I think you'd rather hear just the highlights. Wednesday we went fishing with Hope and our friend from school, Chase Stanton. There is this place called the Hatchery, where all the fish come to spawn and die. So there is a big body of water outside of that, that we fished in. Now you don't really want to keep any of these fish, seeing as they are all coming to die and so they are kinda nasty, so we just caught them and threw them back. I caught 4 Chum salmon on this excursion. It was really fun. I got bled all over by one which was sick, but still fun despite all the nasty. My mom held the record with 5 fish. She was a pro for sure. Now, I say we threw all the fish back...but one didn't make it. This is nasty, so bear with me, but I caught one through his eye. Since he was squirmming more than any of the other fish (I don't know why, maybe because a hook through the eyeball is probably excruciating. But that is just a guess) Chase couldn't get the hook out of his face without killing him. So he had to stomp on him and then get the hook out. That is a sick-nasty story I know, and I'm sorry. Its Alaska. They're rough and tough up here.

Thursday we went hiking up a trail called Perseverance, which was really gorgeous. We ended a this huge beautiful waterfall. Like it is breathtaking how beautiful God makes creation. It's just a glimpse of how beautiful he is, a picture of his majesty. I also think it is funny that us girls more admired the beauty of the waterfall while my dad was admiring the sheer power of it. I think we as humans typically only notice one side of something, like us girls just looking at how beautiful it was and Daddy just seeing the power of it. But when you have more than one person you see more than one perspective. Fellowship is so good because it opens your eyes to things that you would never see or recognize yourself. God is always more than one-sided. He's not just beautiful (which we typically associate with delicate and soft) but he's also so powerful (which we typically associate with rough and tough. Not really delicate or soft at all.). We wouldn't normally put the two together, but he uses little things here on earth, like big, beautiful, powerful waterfalls to give us a glimspe of how the two can be perfectly compatiable.

Friday, so yesterday, we moved into the new house and then hit up downtown for some shopping. After that Hope had her 6 other girls from project over at our new beautiful cabin. We cooked pizzas and sweet potatoes and I at crab straight from the leg. Then we played a game and hit the sack. It's nice just to put faces with all the names Hope has been telling me about. They're all really cool girls so it was fun to get to hang out with them all.

Well that is the scoop. There is so much I'm missing not putting in here, just for the sake of time for the both of us. But if I get to see you anytime soon you can ask and I'll share more stories. And I'm sure pictures will make their way to the internet at some point. Its been a really good trip, just getting to be with most of the fam.

Until next time dear friend.
Psalm 138:6-8
-Kelly

A Word from the Wooed.

Hey dear friends!

Well I have finished Biology. I passed. I just checked my grade. I passed. I have nothing else good to say about it, just that I never have to take it again. Hallelujah.

With all that jazz out of my hair it has been time for fun stuff!!! Whoooooo!! I made a roadtrip to Arkansas this weekend and it was WONDERFUL!! Exactly 3 weeks from tomorrow I will be moving my things back to the Hog Land. Can't tell you how excited I am about it and this weekend just increased that excitement exponetially. I got to hang out with friends and drive around town and just see a lot of really lovely people and places. It was the best.

Since getting back (so ...yesterday) I got to hang out with friends, work a little, and paint. I love painting. I am about to read a bit, and I'm stoked about that too. It has been so great not having class! I get to see Hope a week from today and I am so looking forward to it. I miss her lots. It'll be good to get to catch up face-to-face and not just over the phone. Its amazing all the really fun things you can do when you don't have to do school!

I finished Proverbs last week and so I made the transition into Ecclesiastes. I really can't believe I've never read through it before. Its so good. And really challenging. So far the two things that have stood out the most to me were in chapter 2 and chapter 5. First, in 2:24-25 Solomon, (er, well that is who is almost always thought to be the writter) shows us that the one thing in life that isn't vanity is enjoying the things given to us within God's design for our life. Like he goes through money, wisdom, eating, drinking, riches, toil, ect., and all of it is just complete vanity. Striving after the wind. Not because those things are bad by any means on their own, but they are worthless without a Creator giving them purpose. Apart from him they will never bring us happiness. Verse 25 says, "for who can find enjoyment apart from him?" Our purpose is to delight in the things of God. The work he's given us, the money, the wisdom, all of that, we take pleasure in, but we don't strive for. I guess just being content and thankful for the circumstances we are in and finding joy in our freedom in Christ and where in life God has placed us. Contentment is hard for everyone. It starts small. You just want one thing and then if/when you get it, it never fulfills like we had hoped it will. So then we want more. Or because whatever we wanted did bring us some temporary joy we think that if we just had a little bit more then we'd have it all. Then it builds and before we know it we are living in a constant state of discontentment, trying so hard to find life and joy in lifeless things. So that was the first thing that really struck me, absolutely nothing in this life has any meaning apart from God.

Second was chapter 5, which I read today. Verse 2 really hit home for me, so I'm going to type it all out. It says, "Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few." Do you ever just try to talk for God? Or tell him what's up before listening for him to speak? I sure do. For pretty much every aspect of my life I like to try to figure it all out. Its like I think I'm going to beat God to actually revealing things, so that when he does get around to it I can say, "Ha! I knew it all along!" Instead of looking back at all the incredible ways God has worked in my life and trusting him with ways he has yet to work, I try and understand things that, honestly, just really aren't for me to see. Half of the growing process is trusting that God is going to do it, and most of the time I try to skip that half and get right to the being grown and knowledgeable part. It'd be like a flower disconnected from its stem. I mean stems really aren't all that attractive, but you've got to have them to have the beautiful part. Without the stem attatched to a life source you just have a bunch of brown, ugly, dead petals in your hands. It really is embarrassing to think of how I hasty I am to tell God my opinion on how I think life should go. I am on earth. God is in heaven. You know, he's the one that made EVERYTHING, and planned it all out to bring himself honor. The God that died for me and has proved his love towards me over and over again. The one that breaks me continually, the one that shows himself in the most beautiful ways. Seems like it should be easy enough to trust that kind of love and faithfulness, right? Why are we so foolish to think more highly of ourselves than we ought? So preoccupied with our own little worlds that we have tried to make ourselves the rulers over. I've definitely been getting taught submission and learning to hold my tongue. Sometimes I just say what is on my mind with complete disregard to common sense. And being open has its place, but man I could take a lesson or two in holding back emotions, opinions, and thoughts. This passage was just another reminder of that. I can't think of a single passage where it says, "Be really hasty to tell God how to run the universe." It's just easy to forget that since a lot of times we can't see past our own noses.

So that was just 2 thoughts that came out of Ecclesiastes. This week I am going to try to get back into the cleaning mode. Tomorrow: Living room. And for dinner: Thai Coconut Curry Soup. We shall see how that goes.

Well until next time dear friends!
Isaiah 55:8-9
-Kelly

Nehemiah 8:10b

Bear with me today, folks. Its probably going to be a long-en'.

One month, one day. That is how long I have before I will be moving my things into D407. It feels like time has been rolling on a hill. At the beginning of the summer it was like I was pushing it uphill. Now I'm rolling downhill and it is picking up speed. I've got one more week of school, one week of just work, one week in Alaska, and then one week after that to get everything together to move in. At the beginning of the summer Amy, Bre and I (Amy and Bre are going to co-lead a freshman girl's bible study with me next year) made a list of 13 prayer requests for the 13 weeks of the summer. I made index cards and taped them all to my mirror and I took them down one by one and stuck them in my journal for that week. Its so weird to think my mirror once had a chain stretching from top to bottom with prayer cards, and now, after tomorrow, will just have 3 left on it.


I went back and read my first post yesterday and it is really hard to not feel a little like a failure. I'm looking at 2/3rds of my summer gone and wondering why on earth I haven't accomplished anything. There is still time left, but not near as much as there used to be. Which brings me to a word that has been threatening my heart and emotions at many points throughout the summer. Overwhelmed. That sense that you just might not be able to handle something anymore. Which brings me to another word that has been the theme of this summer so far. Faithful. God has been so incredibly faithful throughout. He hasn't let me be overtaken by any of these overwhelming feelings. With my feeling of lonliness at the beginning of the summer he provided new friendships, let me spend time with old friends, and most of all he has been so so faithful to be right there with me whenever the feeling threatens again. When I am beginning to feel overwhelmed with the weight of my sin (reading old journals is agonizing because I see the repetitive sin in my life that I continue to struggle with) and when I feel completely insufficient as a Christian he reminds me that HIS grace is sufficient for me and HIS power is made perfect in my weakness. When my schedule has felt like too much and when I can't seem to find the perfect balance between work, classes, and goals he helps me reprioritize and somehow, no matter how much or how little anxiety I have, he provides time for everything. There have been points where I just feel so helpless. I've felt like that a lot this week, but I probably feel that way because I am. I don't have control, and if I did it would be a scary thing for the rest of the world. God, in his grace, is reminding me of how very mortal I am and how very sovereign I am not.

I came across a verse a week or two ago and I want to share it with y'all. Its Nehemiah 8:10 part b. It says, "And do not be grieved for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Fact. At all of these points, the ones even just this summer, he has been my strength and my joy. He is consistently reminding me that I cannot do it on my own, and that fact is my joy. Because he is my strength and my provider I have no need to be grieved, he's going to take care of everything in his time and in his way. I may feel a bit like a failure right now, helpless, and threatened to be overwhelmed all over again but he is my strength. Also when thinking about this summer so far I go back the Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." I mean I had all these plans, all good plans, all good things, and all things that still have time to be tackled, but God has established my steps. I cannot think of another time in my life where I have been so continuously broken. It's nothing of my own merit, it is just God being merciful to me, a sinner. And when I say sinner I mean it in the deepest, blackest sense. I am completely deprave. And God is completely gracious to me and doesn't see any of it because he is looking at me through the lense of Christ. Can't get over that. Anyway, he is establishing my steps. As much as I am looking at my list of goals as being in the process of failing, God has been working on me in a much bigger way than my list of 10 things ever could have. Don't ask me why he has been so faithful. It's something I will never completely understand.

I feel like this sounds like such a melodramatic post. It really isn't. Yes, my sin is like grains of sand on a beach. Yes, I have been broken and heartbroken over things in my life. Yes, I do continue to be a fool and struggle with realizing how sovereign God is and how not I am. But really all those things are what makes God's grace so incredible and beautiful. I'm so thankful that he loves me enough that, despite my shortcomings (there are many, trust me) , he chose me for his name's sake. It is more of a post of praise of God's grace and faithfulness than a gripe over my sinfulness. Again, his faithfulness is just something I will never be able to fully wrap my mind around.

Psalm 25:4-5
-Kelly

P.s- Oh and I made a 94 on my final speech in Communications. I don't know what the final grade was overall but it was an A. Wooowhooo :)