Another Late Night

Its 2am. I'm still awake. I show no signs of sleeping any time soon. Its crazy how home has done that to me. Typically I am a 11pm lights out type of gal at school. I'll have to revert back to that very soon considering Biology and babysitting start on Monday. But, until then, here I am. Awake. And thinking. My mind seems to shut off all day, and then BAM, as soon as my head hits the pillow it's whirling. It's like it s is trying to digest all of the thoughts and things that have gone on throughout my day.

Sooooo....since I'm awake...why not blog? Just a wee bit, eh? Just until the sleepy kicks in.

Monday. Memorial day. It was lovely. I had Blake, Haley, and Cally over. It was like 3 worlds colliding. While Haley is pretty much a part every part of my life, I really classify her as a church crew member, because that is where our friendship originated. So church crew was represented. Home school basketball was represented by my dear friend Cally. And then Blake was carrying the Arkansas crew flag (not literally, just a figure of speech you know). I know I said 3 worlds colliding, but it was more like 3 worlds meshing, not really a collision in the literal sense of the word. Anywho, Monday was just swell, and Haley, Cally and I dyed t-shirts and watched a movie. Then Tuesday they stayed over until 3:30/4ish swimming and hanging out and what not. Again, a lovely time.

All that to say, I got absolutely nothing done on Monday and Tuesday. I read some Harry Potter, but nothing was cleaned, practiced or, memorized for those two days. I wouldn't have traded having my friends around for those few hours for a few clean dishes but I will say it made today rather difficult. I didn't want to do diddly squat that's for sure. I mustered the discipline to do a few loads of laundry, but they have yet to be folded, so I hardly count that as complete. I did do some French and worked on Psalm 103. And again I read some Harry Potter, but those are all the enjoyable things. I have yet to touch a keyboard, I've only made it through 2 chapters of Screwtape, and I've just barely worked on school these past few days. I wish I could say its because I've been spending so much time outside, or that I've found something much more crucial that desires my attention, but it is just not true.

I was reading through a devotional I found online the other day and it said this in it: "The word most often translated patient literally means 'long suffering'. The Message combines both ideas by calling it 'the willingness to stick with things.' " Hmmm. Interesting. Patience, in my mind, has always just been the concept of waiting for something or the idea that you should hold your tongue and be nice to someone when they are difficult. It is what you DON'T do that defines you as patient. But literally the word patient, or patience, is so active. Its not dormant at all, it's a fully functional faith that requires action. This summer I'm having to learn patience in a whole new way and this new way of defining it is just a start. I thought I was learning patience by what I don't do, now I see I'm learning it by what I am doing. Hope called me the other day and gave me a quote that speaker in Alaska had used, she said, "You must be content to do the known until God reveals the unknown." That is patience. Doing what you know needs to be done today, knowing God will reveal tomorrow when tomorrow comes. See I've already gotten impatient with the work I'm doing here at home. I'm already looking towards the fall. Ya, God will do some sweet stuff in my life in the fall, I'm sure of it, but he's trying to do some really cool stuff right here and right now as well. So I need to continue seeking him out by: 1) Commiting my way to him (me giving him my best in the known) 2) Trusting in him (me surrendering the unknown ) 3) And he will act (the unknown, he will make known) -Psalm 37:5

On a side note (also known as: I'm on a rambling roll) I've got to read a whole slew (6) of relationship and marriage counseling books (just call me Dr. Phil) for a paper for Communications (which I have been calling Speech, but I only make 1 speech so that's not really the right name for the class). Not going to lie, the intro to all of these books is almost frightening enough to make a girl second guess the idea of ever getting married. They always seem to open the book with the shock factor of how miserable marriage is for everyone. Of course, they always teach you how to work it out, but I just haven't gotten to those chapters yet. I'm sure the Christian books get around to it, but maybe why so many marriages come to a breaking point or near breaking point is because people have misinterpreted the word patience. "Love is patient.." is a really common passage. You can walk into any Christian bookstore and get atleast 7 different styled mugs with the words scrawled on them. It makes a lovely Bible case cover too, you know, in scroll text with some overly floral decoration in the background, maybe some Precious Moments characters. Just don't forget to grab your Testamints, Fruit of the Spirit fruit bowl, and water bottle with the words "Drink of this water and you will never thirst again..." written on the lable (I just don't think Jesus was trying to sell Aquafina when he said that.) Sorry, I digress, I should never have started with the Bookstores. Anyway, you get the picture, idea, "Love is patient..." is common. But what is patient? I mean, we know now, we just talked about it, it is an active pursuit, the desire to not quit but to stick with something. But do these couples know that? Do they know that being patient doesn't mean pulling away or sitting around waiting for things to get better? I think so often, even in just reading the openings of these books, the problem with relationships and marriages start with, "He just doesn't do this...." or "She never takes the time to do that...." In the end both of them stop being active. They say, "Well I'll just wait it out... I'll be patient and see when he/she changes." It's amazing to see the number of marriages, even with in the Christian community, crumble because this concept is misunderstood. Now there are other things too that factor besides the lack of active patience from either party. One of which is the disillusional idea that you are somehow complete once you find the person you love, like you will have arrived to some upper crust and the one main goal in life is accomplished. That crumbles under so many people (more for girls I think, which ruins the relationship for guys too) because they are depending wholey on a flawed human being to make their life perfect. I blame the absurdity known as chick-flicks for this phenomenom. But that is another ramble for another time.

Until next time dear friends. Congratulations on having read this far.
Psalm 73:21-24
-Kelly

P.s- I leave the verses in reference form just as another excuse for us to get to crack the Word open. I'd encourage you not to Biblegateway them.